All Worth It

Getting up 30-45 minutes earlier before work every morning means I get to spend our first waking moments together.  

Worth it.

Feeding you for hours each day reminds me to slow down and spend time with you. 

Worth it.

Lengthening my commute by 20 minutes each work day is okay because I get to be with you longer and see you sooner. 

Worth it.

Crying over touching commercials and stories about babies/children happens more often affirms in me the sanctity and preciousness of life. 

Worth it.

Getting spit up in my hair and drool on my face makes me to laugh at what seems unlaughable . 

Worth it.

Taking breaks at work to pump express milk lends me the knowledge that I'm helping protect you from illness and allergies, and may even be boosting your IQ (not to mention help me lose the baby wight). 

Worth it.

Results

As anticipated, Friday's transesophageal echocardiogram detected no blood clots, or risk factors for blood clots.

So what do we conclude? 

Well, I'll at least tell you what I conclude. Emergency room take two was just as the high risk pregnancy doctor suspected - an abnormal migraine. That or I simply experienced one of the many perplexing side effects of the pregnancy condition.

We'll see what the neurologist has to say next Tuesday and waste yet another $40 copay...

Putting My "TIA" to Rest

If you haven't been following my blog earlier than about about half way through my pregnancy, or if you have an simply have forgotten about my second trip to the emergency room when pregnant, I don't blame you. Seeing pictures and updates of Hannah Rose are much more exciting. But for the few and far between that have been asking about follow-up post pregnancy, the last test to find out if I'm actually susceptible to blood clots and/or stroke is Friday. My Protein C levels in my blood are still a bit low post-pregnancy, but I'm still not considered deficient.

My test on Friday will commence with an eight-hour fast followed by a two-hour period in "twilight" while doctors perform a transesophageal echocardiogram. For those of you that have no idea what this means, I will basically have a probe passed down my esophagus (thus the fast) to get a clearer image of my heart. This compares to the non-invasive echocardiogram - like an ultrasound of the heart - I received during pregnancy when "twilight" wasn't an option. The goal here, as I understand it, is to check out the left atrium for blood clotting, which may have caused my "TIA".

Am I nervous (for the results)? Not a pinch. The whole reason for placing TIA in "quotes" is because I'm not at all convinced I actually had a TIA incident. I think the high-risk pregnancy doctor was right (see Doctors, Doctors & More Doctors); I think the numbness and aphasia I experienced was an atypical migraine. 

In the event something abnormal from the transesophageal echocardiogram is found, the results will likely conclude whether I need to continue my daily regime of taking Baby Asprin, and will likely sentence me to Lovonox/ Heparin injections for the full duration of subsequent pregnancies. 

If so, it will be worth it.

Because even after months of giving myself daily injections, and not-to-mention my struggle mid-pregnancy with breathlessness,  the difficult times have been quickly forgotten and the reward is well worth the trial. I mean, just look at this Cheese:

Hannah Getting Her Voice

Four Months: Daddy's Little Girl

It's about 99.9% certain that we've got ourselves a brown eyed girl. So she's officially all Daddy, as if we didn't know already. Check out all our newborn photos.

This past month Hannah had several firsts. Hannah had her first cold (and also her second). Hannah celebrated her first Christmas. (It was last year Christmas Day I found out I was pregnant.) We heard Hannah's first giggles. Hannah also received her first non-generic nickname: The Cheese. How? I was singing along with Hannah's musical lamb to "The Farmer in the Dell." At the end I sang, "Hannah stands alone. Hannah stands alone..." So Seth said, "Hannah, are you The Cheese?" It stuck. She's The Cheese.

But most exciting, Hannah first rolled over!

The first to witness was Grandma P. on December 17 when watching her during the day while Seth and I were at work. Hannah was a bit startled by it when she landed abruptly from her stomach to back. I was sad to have missed it, but I already had accepted the fact I may miss some of Hannah's firsts with my decision to go back to work. I'll get over it. And it's not like we had lost our chance to see it. I knew there would be a next time.

The following weekend, we got our chance. Not only did we get to witness this feat, but since we were in Minnesota for Christmas, Grandma and Grandma Miller, Sarah, and Peter also got to see Hannah roll over. We all erupted in cheers, so much so that Sarah had to quiet us down since Elora was taking a nap. In case Hannah would do it again, I whipped out my camera. Sure enough, when I put her back on her stomach, she flipped onto her back once again. Check out the footage:

To close, Daddy said the sweetest thing yesterday: "I have never smiled so much in my life. Because I always want to make her smile."

Hannah's First Christmas

Hannah's first Christmas, in pictures.

A Tribute to Grandma & Grandpa Miller

Yesterday, I was thinking about Hannah's future and what kind of mom I am going to be. I couldn't help but reflect on the many things I am so thankful to my parents for, many of which I may or may not have thanked them for or do they realize their impact on where I am and who I am today. So, this post is a special tribute to Grandma and Grandpa Miller.

Thank you Mom for bearing the pain of my delivery. Maybe next time I'll get it right back at me. Maybe.

Thank you Mom and Dad for understanding my curiosity as a child. 

Thank you Mom for rocking me in the chair when I was feeling sad.

Thank you Dad for blow drying my hair (and slicking it back like I was a boy; I didn't mind) after you gave me a bath. That was always so special.

Thank you Mom for listening to my tears and putting me in daycare with Jan only. 

Thank you Dad for letting me tag along with you when you did the "big shopping" at the grocery store. I'm sure I didn't make things faster or easier, especially when I ran over your heel. (Sorry!)

Thank you Dad for taking me on dates. My favorite was always watching planes take off at the airport. You helped exemplify the kind of man I should marry. And God only knew that I would be traveling the world and spending long hours in airports and on planes.

Thank you Mom for letting me crawl in bed with you and night, eat Cheetos, watch the news, and fall asleep. Thanks Dad for carrying me back to my own bed.

Thank you Mom and Dad for encouraging me to play soccer even though I ended up on a different team than my friends. I must have liked it because I played for several more years.

Thank you Mom for driving my friends and me to Camp Shamineau when we easily could have taken the bus. Perhaps you understood the importance of getting there early to secure our bunks.

Thank you Dad for putting up with all the girliness in the house. You are good with girls, but I guess you've had a lot of practice (two sisters, two daughters, and now two granddaughters).

Thank you Mom for sitting outside the pool at the YMCA while I swam laps in middle school.

Thank you Dad, I mean Chef Ronaldo, for cooking and serving the fancy dinner at my 11th birthday party.

Thank you Mom for the many hours spent at Caribou. You are the best listener, and it's there that I have learned so much about you. I always look forward to Caribou...and Pancheros.

Thank you Mom and Dad for being my biggest cheerleader. You made it to all the football and basketball games I cheered at that you could. And thank you Dad for being one of the videographers. I never minded having you around.

Thank you Mom and Dad for paying for all my gas in high school. I was thankful for that freedom, and I always had a car to get to work, school, church, cheerleading practice, friends' houses...and the mall.

Thank you Mom and Dad for trusting me. I really was a good kid.

Thank you Mom and Dad for the many sacrifices you made to allow me to go to Taylor. I have no doubt that is where the Lord wanted me to be. 

Thank you Dad for sending me a computer a month into school. I needed it.

Thank you Mom and Dad for going down to one car so I could have transportation at Taylor to drive to my internship - the reason I have the job I have today. And not only did you give me a car, you gave me the nicer car. That Blue Alero was good to me.

Thank you Dad for biking alongside me while I ran 10 miles in preparation for my half marathon. You helped me pull through.

Thank you Mom for all you did to help me plan my wedding down to the last detail. I can't believe you and Dad even drove from church to the reception just to make sure the invitation directions were correct.

Thank you Mom and Dad for showering me, Seth and our baby-to-be with many gifts and for coming out to Chicago for a shower and her birth. Sorry you had to endure Labor Day traffic!

Thank you for loving Hannah even before she was born. And don't worry, I'm not offended if you're more excited to see her. I would be too.

Most of all, thank you for raising me in the ways of the Lord and being a part of my coming to Christ. I pray that I can be the kind of parent you exemplified to my Hannah.