Since going back to work after maternity leave, I didn't feel one way or another about staying home or continuing to work. So, since no decision was the easy and less final decision, I went back to work and have been working since. Leading up to about a month ago, I hadn't ever felt at peace about leaving work to stay home.
I definitely had days I literally texted Seth, “Can I be done now,” but I was never truly ready to take the plunge. So in the last several of months, I have been praying that the Lord would make it clear if I should stay or should go. I thought to myself, if work is just really hard, that will be my sign to go.
The last three months, it’s been hard.
On top of work being crazy and my reduced commute not being all I hoped, we had just moved and were getting ready for Hannah’s first birthday/housewarming party. When work is crazy and home is crazy, there is no break. There was little time to truly focus on the small amount of time I actually did have with Hannah. It’s been stressful, and I don’t get stressed easily.
My one saving grace at work is that I haven’t had to fill any positions in my department. I have seen other areas struggling to get things done even more because they have been short staffed. Thankfully I have been able to get out the door, though sans a lunch break, close to my scheduled end time.
Then a month ago, one of my subordinates resigned.
I knew immediately when she told me. I knew that it was time to be “done,” and it was the first time I ever felt peace about it. Granted, what I intended to do was first request going part-time, but I was finally ready to walk if part-time was not feasible.
Days later I told my boss that through prayer and various circumstance, it became clear that I need to spend more time with my family. Because of the staffing needs in the department, I asked to be considered for a part-time position. Otherwise, I would work out a schedule until the proper replacements were made. I knew that as a manager, I could not work part-time in my current position.
My timing wasn't great in that my boss was leaving for a two week business trip. Nonetheless, upon her return she worked the the appropriate executive and HR channels and two weeks ago I found out a part-time position was approved.
So, this is my last full week of work. On Mondays and Thursdays, I will "just" be mommy. To God be the glory.