The last several weeks have been tough and each night is a battle. A pattern has developed - I find myself up for the first time in the night just an hour after initially falling asleep. Depending on the extent of my breathlessness, I would be up for anywhere from a few minutes to three hours, often multiple times a night, taking walks outside (yes, Seth would get up with me), watching TV, reading, getting fresh air outside on the balcony, etc. For whatever reason, the morning hours get better and I can typically sleep from 4 AM on with no disturbance.
This past week, a referral to a lung specialist went through from my OB and I made my appointment immediately. At the first visit, the doctor expressed concern as it is not normal for someone pregnant or with anxiety to actually wake themselves out of sleep. So he ordered me to get an echocardiogram (basically an ultrasound of my heart) and various tests on my blood to check if this was an issue with my thyroid or a case of anemia. While I prayed nothing was serious, I also prayed the doctor would find something so I would have a chance at a remedy.
The tests all came back normal, and the doctor was somewhat dumbfounded. Before completely dismissing me from my follow-up appointment, the doctor had a breathing test done (normal) and ordered an endoscopy. (They stuck a camara down my nose! Ugh.) Immediately during the endoscopy the doctor detected the problem: Vocal Cord Dysfunction. What?
Vocal Cord Dysfunction, often misdiagnosed as asthma, basically causes airflow obstruction, partially or fully closing the vocal cords and resulting in shortness of breath. Treatment: see a speech therapist. No, I won't need to learn how to correctly pronounce my r's; I'll learn breathing exercises and techniques to eliminate abnormal vocal cord movement to increase airflow.
In an answer to prayer, it's definitely something, but not serious. I hope to get into therapy soon, as simply knowing the diagnosis and practicing some exercises I learned on the Internet have not eliminated my sleepless nights.
My wonder through all of this has been what the Lord's purposes are. I definitely have learned (well, actually already knew), that I have the best husband in the world. Seth has been up for hours in the night, sacrificing his own sleep and being the support I need. He told me: "You are not just going through this, we are." As we approach our fourth anniversary on June 7, I am thankful I married a man who takes his vows seriously.
I have prayed like I never have before in these last weeks, often wondering how long this will continue. Because some nights, I feel like I just can't go on (nearly every night) like this. I'm only 26 weeks, and I don't know if delivery, or my new found hope for therapy relief, will cure me.
But in the end, if this is a result of pregnancy, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know I am so blessed to be pregnant and now more than ever, I can't wait to meet our baby girl.
